This I Call To Mind

Lamentations 3:19-24

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind..."

I love this chapter and these verses.   I've dwelt upon it for twenty-two years.  It first stood out to me when I was at AFLBS in Plymouth, MN back in 1992.  When I first considered going to bible school, I was afraid that I would stand out as a "heathen".  I'd been a Christian since 1978, yet I still felt so unworthy of owning the name "Christian" because I knew what God had saved me from.  Not only that, but I knew that I didn't know scriptures or doctrine like others.   So, before I went to bible school, I spent an entire year getting to know my bible, just to save face.  Wow!  What a confession!  Isn't that a poor motivation?  I look back at this and I am ashamed for my pride.  And not only that, but I know that this pride was the very thing that caused me to stumble while taking classes at AFLBS.

You see, when I finally got into my classes and around the other students, I realized that they were no different than I was.  And that was a big surprise to me.  I had believed and feared that they would be coming from strong Christian homes and would have a good knowledge base of scripture and The Faith.  And I knew that I was not coming from such a home.  I feared that I was going to be "way behind" them in their knowledge and I didn't want to appear ignorant.  But what I found was that they came from ordinary family homes just like I had, and that they weren't super spiritual people...they were just like me.  In fact, having taken the entire year to study scripture on my own had given me a head start I wasn't expecting.  And for a time that puffed me up.  My pride caused me to wander.  And I paid dearly for it.

The Psalmist said, "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey Your word." Psalm 119:67
He also said, "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees." Psalm 119:71

After I became puffed up and let my pride cause me to wander in places I should not have strayed, God striped me of every confidence I had and left me with only one thing to cling to...His mercy.

When I think of Lamentations 3, I am instantly back to my wandering and I am cast down with shame for it.  Yet at the same time, I am filled with hope because of The Lord's great love for me.  If you'll notice, I didn't finish the quote of the verses in Lamentations.  I did this for a reason.

You see, I've known many people through the years, the majority of them through the church.  And what I've seen many times is the way some recollect their pre-salvation days.  It isn't uncommon for people who align themselves with the church to remember their pre-salvation experiences with snickering and conspiratorial giggles, almost as if there is no shame in it.   But the thing is, none of what the wicked do is amusing in God's eyes, nor is it cute.  This doesn't usually happen when someone is "giving their testimony".  This usually happens in leisurely times away from the church building, when people feel at ease to be themselves, times when their guard is let down and they don't feel pressure to look the part of a "contrite Christian", times when they are not pretending.

When we look back upon our sin, we should be cut to the heart.  And when we consider with a sober attitude, how we've offended God with our sin, we should rejoice at His great mercy that He has shown us.  To look back endearingly to the days we spent reveling in our rebellion is to forget what an abomination all of it was to God.  Instead, we should be down cast within...and then the beauty of the hope we have because of God's unfailing love will have it's proper place in our hearts.
When first I quoted this verse, I left off midway through vs. 21,  "...and this I call to mind..."
When you are feeling comfortable to be yourself, what do you call to mind when you remember your affliction and your wandering?

Like the writer of the book of Lamentations, I would encourage you to remember your affliction and wanderings as with bitterness and gall...and be downcast within yourself.  Because the moments we spent rebelling against our God are shameful.  He said, "It is shameful even to mention what the wicked do in secret."  (Eph. 5:12)  We should also consider that they were moments for which Christ hung upon the Cross.  To smile and laugh and remember them with even a hint of glee is a shameful thing.  Instead, recall them with a sober heart and how Jesus, in His great love for you, endured the Cross and how you were not consumed because His compassions never fail.

Vs. 21-24
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning:  Great is Your faithfulness.  I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion;  therefore I will wait for Him.'"

Praise be to God who saved us from our wicked ways and gave us an eternal hope that rests upon God's mercy.  May our pleasure and joy be rooted in His love, and may we forsake even the memories of wicked pleasure.  May the Lord be our portion and our delight.  

Redemption

Several years ago, my mom gave me a roaster oven for Christmas.  It was very useful to me, but last spring I collected sap and used the roaster oven to slowly cook it until it turned into syrup.  For several days I diligently babied the thickening syrup anxiously awaiting the yummy treat.  Unfortunately, when I wasn't present, some unknown "force" turned the heat up on the roaster to 400 degrees.  It wasn't long until the syrup was charred to a 4'' thick black mass in the bottom of my roaster pan.  And let me tell you, it seemed it was there to stay.   

God has created you and I to worship.  He's created us for something special and He loves our obedience as we do His will.  The things He uses us to do or create are often times awesome and amazing, inspiring others in their walk with The Lord, building them up in their faith.  We have a purpose and it is good.  But sometimes an outside "force" comes in and wreaks havoc in a person's life.  Sometimes that "force" is his own stubborn will.  No matter the reason, the results are a mess, that seem completely hopeless to overcome.  Often others give up on that person, writing him off with dismissive words that cut to the heart.

My roaster pan was charred and unusable for a long long time.  It took much effort to scrape and chip away the charred sap. And when Paul and I got to the end of the chunks, the roaster looked irreparably damaged, as if the sap took the enamel completely off the pan in some places.  So we set it aside, ready for the dump and I purposed not to chide myself too much.  Paul comforted me with the affirmation that I could replace it.  Then it rained, and the roaster pan sat with rain water in it for a good while.  After a time I looked at it again to make sure it was a lost cause.  What I saw was that more specks of sap had soaked off and I realized the enamel was good, and that there was still hope!

We've scrubbed every once in a while over the summer and today, as I was cooking apples, I decided to scrub it once again.  To my delight, the pan is nearly restored!  It's taken a while, but that's alright.

God knows our intended purposes.  And when we mess up our lives it can seem completely hopeless.  Some have even concluded that their lives aren't worth living anymore and they give up.  But God never gives up.  He can take our "charred mess" of a life and redeem it.  Even when others give up, we must always remember that the end of the matter is in God's hands.  So, even when someone seems to be a complete wreck, when someone seems to be a "hopeless cause", we MUST hold out hope that God can redeem that person.    

Maybe you are one who's life is a mess right now.  Maybe you are even thinking you are a lost cause. Maybe someone else has said as much.  I'm here to tell you that God is in the redemption business.  He is the great restorer of our souls and our lives.  Though there may seem to be insurmountable issues, and maybe you believe you've gone to far, but God is able to scrape away the charred mess and restore you to perfect use.  Sure it might be painful.  Sure it will take some time.  And no, you might not be usable while you are in your current state, but in time, and through the process of restoration, He will re-establish your faith and your footing so that you are once again the person He created you to be.  

My roaster has some "character" now.  It doesn't shine quite like it once did.  But I can sure use it as much as I ever did.  And I am ever so pleased to have it back.  

I'm certain that the Heavenly Father is even more pleased when one of His children repents and seeks restoration with Him.  Return to The Lord and wait patiently for Him to restore your life.  He will do it.

2 Peter 3:9

"The Lord is not slow about His promises, as some would understand slowness.  But He is patient with you, not wishing for anyone to perish, but for all to come to repentance."

Phillippians 1:6

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." 

The Gift

Ecclesiastes 9:9"Enjoy life with your wife whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun."

My husband, Paul and I have seen many years together.  We are working on our 20th year of being married but I knew him for a couple years before we tied the knot.  What an adventure it has been!  

For me, it began when I was 16 years old.  For some reason, I felt I needed to start praying for my future husband.  So I began making a list of the qualities I wanted in him and I prayed, asking God to equip him with those qualities and others as He saw fit.  I diligently prayed and as my list changed, so did my prayers. And I'm convinced that all the while, God was shaping me as much as He was shaping my husband to be.  What a refinement process that must have been.  I only know from my own perspective what my refinement was like.  But God knows from His eternal perspective what happened and will continue to happen.  I am confident that no matter what refining work God does within my heart or the heart of my husband, He has given me a beautiful gift to ease that process.

That gift is the gift of romantic love.  The gift of marriage.  I am so in love with my husband that it makes my days joyful and light and gives me something fantastic to look forward to every day.  I would never have known how grand of a gift I was asking for, had I not gotten to spend my last 20 plus years loving Paul.  Sure, we said, "I do".  But the romance didn't begin there and it certainly didn't end there.  It's honestly been the greatest gift I have ever been given.

This gift is as precious to God as it is to me...possibly even more precious, because He's realized it's potential all along, even before I knew what I was asking for.  I'd be lying if I tried to tell you that it's always been easy.  We've gone through our share of hard experiences.  But in linking arms and pushing through together, we've grown even closer than we would have, had we not gone through those times.  He has been my faithful friend, my lover, my confidant, my champion, my support, my pastor and my encourager our entire life together.  And when things have arisen to threaten that bond, he's never once wavered in his love and pursuit of me.  We purposed to faithfully love each other on our wedding day, and that has never changed for either of us.

It might sound arrogant to some, but I'll risk writing it.  What I want is for my children to see how in love Paul and I are together so that they will pattern their expectations and their intentions after us.  I want them to see us fight and make up.  I want them to see me cry and Paul comfort me.  I want them to see me comforting him too.  I want them to see us experiencing the good times together and pushing through the hard times together...because that is part of this gift of marriage.  We take the good and the bad and we praise God through it all.  If our children see our weaknesses and how we pull through it together, they will expect and purpose to be faithful like that with their own spouses.   It will be their "normal", because it is our "normal".

What Paul and I have, is becoming increasingly rare...but it is not extinct.  There are many people out there who intend to love God by faithfully loving their spouses for better or worse.  I'm banking on this, even as I pray for my future sons and daughters-in-law.  Even though I've seen the definition of "normal" change in our society and even in the church, I believe there is a different standard to strive for that is empowered by God.  It is a faithfulness that is higher and far superior to what the world would encourage.  And I believe it is both a gift and an obedience.

Knowing how many people, both in and out of the Church, have had their lives touched by divorce, I am certain that this subject carries the potential to insight hard feelings.  I'm not here to bring condemnation upon anyone.  I am, however, here to bring encouragement to those, who are right now considering throwing in the towel and giving up.

The gift of a wife is a "reward", one to delight in all your fleeting days.  I know it's hard.  But I also know it's very very good.   It's a gift worth fighting for.  It's a gift worth clinging to.  But the world would have you believe that you "don't deserve this".  It would push you to believe you will never and never have found the kind of love you deserve in your marriage.  It would convince you that you'd be happier if you walked away, that your children would be "just fine" in spite of the choice it wants you to make.  But what the world will not remind you of is that your husband or your wife is a precious gift.  Have you ever seen your spouse as a precious gift?  Do you think of him that way now?

If you can't see this, then I would encourage you to take some time before you make any life altering decisions and dwell upon that thought for a while.  He is a gift.  She is a reward.  Fight for what God has given you, and don't let yourself be so easily entangled.  Your enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.  He does not go easy on us because we are Christians.  He wants to ruin your life, your marriage and the lives of your children.  If your heart is being drawn in by the lie that divorce is your best option, consider the great God who gave the gift of marriage and then consider who it is that has your best interest in mind.  If God is for you (and your marriage) who can be against you?   Reach for the gift and the Giver.  He will show you what it means to be faithful.